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By Joshuamarshall792
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Posts:  800
Joined:  Sun Sep 16, 2018 10:55 pm
#369065
My last freaking post got DELETED, now I'm even more angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So anyways I just received a drosera burmannii in the mail today and I ran into the biggest obstacle, my dad won't let me keep it indoors!!! I know right??? Horrible!!! But anyways it has been getting down in the 40's and he told me I can keep it in the garage, aaaaand it gets very cold in our garage, he keeps yelling at me being an abusive you know what telling me I'm retarded for buying a tropical plant and he doesn't give a flying shoot (the bad shoot meaning poop) if I am happy with it he wants it outside! I can't keep it outside he told me he doesn't even care if it dies down to NOTHING! The main thing that makes me happy and now I'm stuck dealing with him constantly arguing with me over and over and advice? ANY?????

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By Jaker00
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Posts:  52
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369066
That sucks! My parents let me keep all of my plants in my room, so from what I've learned, tell him you spent your money on it and don't want to waste that money, you could also tell him, it will help with pests, like flies spiders etc. Also make sure he knows it won't be in his way and he won't even have to worry about it, I hope this helps, if you still can't keep it inside, you could buy a heat lamp and keep it in your garage, a heater would work too.

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By ChefDean
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Posts:  2874
Joined:  Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:44 am
#369071
Having been on both sides of this dilemma, you're kinda out of luck. Dads house, dads rules.
On the one hand, you spent your money on a plant. But how many plants do you have in the house? Are you caring for them? Are they in your room or spread around the house?
On the other hand, you're taking liberties where you should probably be asking permission first from the guy who's paying the bills in the house.
Rather than whine to him about how mean he is, how unreasonable he is, and how it will die, negotiate. "If I keep my room clean," or "If I do the dishes every night," maybe "If I clean the bathroom every week, can I keep it inside, in my room?"
Instead of arguing with him, earn it. Show him you're willing to work for the privilege of keeping the plant indoors.
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By Shadowtski
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Posts:  4192
Joined:  Tue Mar 22, 2016 8:19 am
#369072
Sorry to hear about the situation but there is a possible way to lessen the pain.
Drosera burmannii are a quick growing annual.
Grab a pack of seeds from the FTS seed bank and plant them next Spring.
They'll germinate, grow, mature, flower, and set seeds, all in one season.
This way you can keep the cycle going.
When you're in your own place, you can set up an indoor growing area and grow what you want where you want.

Good growing,
Mike
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By Jaker00
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Posts:  52
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369074

ChefDean wrote:Having been on both sides of this dilemma, you're kinda out of luck. Dads house, dads rules.
On the one hand, you spent your money on a plant. But how many plants do you have in the house? Are you caring for them? Are they in your room or spread around the house?
On the other hand, you're taking liberties where you should probably be asking permission first from the guy who's paying the bills in the house.
Rather than whine to him about how mean he is, how unreasonable he is, and how it will die, negotiate. "If I keep my room clean," or "If I do the dishes every night," maybe "If I clean the bathroom every week, can I keep it inside, in my room?"
Instead of arguing with him, earn it. Show him you're willing to work for the privilege of keeping the plant indoors.
I agree, if he won't let you have it inside try to negotiate, tell him you're sorry first, and say you understand his arguments, and try to reason with him, if he still says no, say okay, and do what the other person said, get some seeds from the seed bank and grow it as an annual.

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By Jaker00
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Posts:  52
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369077
Joshuamarshall792 wrote:Here is the funny thing right after I came back in he was already in bed! And I put my sundew in a cooler! Btw Mike.... It already has flower buds...

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Let him sleep and talk to him tomorrow.

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By Apollyon
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Posts:  1096
Joined:  Tue May 05, 2020 2:49 am
#369084
Assert dominance lmfao. Honestly though Joshua, it's one of the first and best lessons you learn in your adult life. Learn to play the game. At the end of the day, it is your dad's house and he can decide what he wants going on inside of it. When you have your own, you'll be able to make your own rules. It's hard to say without actually knowing what happened and the dynamic there, but I agree with everyone else. You could always try to negotiate. You have other plants, find a way to grow the drosera in the same place. If it is important to you, make a sacrifice and do something for your dad or home like chores to show you are serious. If you're not taking care of the plants or they're scattered everywhere, I can see why he wouldn't want another one taking up space. Get the stuff organized and work with your dad. His job is to teach you things you need to learn/know in life. We don't know why he said no or what the motivations are.

As was mentioned earlier as well, they naturally go through their life cycle in a year and you can grow them when the season is suited for it if nothing else. The ones that last longer are in good conditions with regular feeding/maintenance.
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By Jaker00
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Posts:  52
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369086
Apollyon wrote:Assert dominance lmfao. Honestly though Joshua, it's one of the first and best lessons you learn in your adult life. Learn to play the game. At the end of the day, it is your dad's house and he can decide what he wants going on inside of it. When you have your own, you'll be able to make your own rules. It's hard to say without actually knowing what happened and the dynamic there, but I agree with everyone else. You could always try to negotiate. You have other plants, find a way to grow the drosera in the same place. If it is important to you, make a sacrifice and do something for your dad or home like chores to show you are serious. If you're not taking care of the plants or they're scattered everywhere, I can see why he wouldn't want another one taking up space. Get the stuff organized and work with your dad. His job is to teach you things you need to learn/know in life. We don't know why he said no or what the motivations are.

As was mentioned earlier as well, they naturally go through their life cycle in a year and you can grow them when the season is suited for it if nothing else. The ones that last longer are in good conditions with regular feeding/maintenance.
I agree COMPLETELY except for I don't think it's right for parents to restrict children's hobbies, especially if they could make a good living off of it in the future, but I understand not letting them if they don't clean up the messes it makes, don't take care of them, or if it's inappropriate for their age or if it's illegal (obviously) but at the end of the day it's the parents choice and you have to respect that.

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By Apollyon
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Joined:  Tue May 05, 2020 2:49 am
#369090
Yeah, I definitely agree they shouldn't be discouraged from hobbies. That's vital for development and a healthy psyche. We all need an escape from the day to day. That is why I wanted to touch on the dynamic and the situation there, or lack thereof because we don't really have any context here. I mean if he is hulking out on his dad because he wants something then I absolutely see the dad's point of view. Same thing if he's getting these on a whim and then neglects them after the fact or leaves the materials scattered everywhere. I'm not saying that's the case Josh but the fact is we don't know and you're asking us our opinion of the situation.

If we're talking in general, if you were to keep your grow space/room in order, keep your hobby out of the way and have the means, space, and knowledge to take care of them and do, I wouldn't see why that would be an issue. I wouldn't see a reason to discourage that or "flex" on you. We don't know your home life and it isn't really a subject for this forum. For that reason, I'm just going saying that you need to have a real discussion and find a real compromise. Negotiate for something you want and offer something in return. He doesn't need to give you what you want. It's really up to you to show you are serious about it. Keeping your promises as well. If you convince him with a deal and then backpedal, he'll lose trust in your word and you'll find yourself in these situations over and over. Speak to him with respect and with your emotions in check as well. "You attract more bees with honey than vinegar." You will go further with your dad if you speak politely from a real place of respect than shouting about how it isn't right or whatever else goes on.
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By Jaker00
Location: 
Posts:  52
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369092
Apollyon wrote:Yeah, I definitely agree they shouldn't be discouraged from hobbies. That's vital for development and a healthy psyche. We all need an escape from the day to day. That is why I wanted to touch on the dynamic and the situation there, or lack thereof because we don't really have any context here. I mean if he is hulking out on his dad because he wants something then I absolutely see the dad's point of view. Same thing if he's getting these on a whim and then neglects them after the fact or leaves the materials scattered everywhere. I'm not saying that's the case Josh but the fact is we don't know and you're asking us our opinion of the situation.

If we're talking in general, if you were to keep your grow space/room in order, keep your hobby out of the way and have the means, space, and knowledge to take care of them and do, I wouldn't see why that would be an issue. I wouldn't see a reason to discourage that or "flex" on you. We don't know your home life and it isn't really a subject for this forum. For that reason, I'm just going saying that you need to have a real discussion and find a real compromise. Negotiate for something you want and offer something in return. He doesn't need to give you what you want. It's really up to you to show you are serious about it. Keeping your promises as well. If you convince him with a deal and then backpedal, he'll lose trust in your word and you'll find yourself in these situations over and over. Speak to him with respect and with your emotions in check as well. "You attract more bees with honey than vinegar." You will go further with your dad if you speak politely from a real place of respect than shouting about how it isn't right or whatever else goes on.
Couldn't have said it better myself.

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