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By oval
Posts:  235
Joined:  Thu Jul 19, 2018 8:36 pm
#369103
It may be possible, sometime in those moments when you are getting along well together, to try to get him interested in the hobby. If those moments are few and far between, try to create them yourself (some suggestions from the other responses would be excellent for this).
ChefDean liked this
By DragonsEye
Posts:  216
Joined:  Sat Oct 01, 2016 1:22 pm
#369198
While I do hear what you're saying, I also have to agree with the others -- dad's house, dad's rules. That is the long, short, beginning and end of it. Someday, if you choose to have kids, you will be making the rules of your household. Your kids may not like it. And they don't have to -- they just have to follow them or move out and get their own place.

Determining what criteria your dad would require to allow you to keep this or other plants is a reasonable solution. However, do realize there might not be negotiable ground. And if there isn't, accept it without griping or whining at him. Will it suck? Yes. But as long as he is paying the bills, it is his right to say what will and won't be allowed under his roof.
By SundewWolf
Posts:  2218
Joined:  Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:38 pm
#369389
It is kind of a tragedy for all parties involved when someone's talents and hobbies are stifled.

When I was a child my dad mocked me for growing "flowers" and called me a f@g. In the best case scenario an individual would be able to explain how this hobby can turn financially profitable with good cultivation skills and the necessary greenhouse space, and that supporting the hobby would be a huge benefit and the parent could even take a chunk if the profit, any better yet have satisfaction that their child grew up into someone who knows how to be responsible and has a horticultural background to fall back on if SHTF. Instead in the worst case scenario you get someone with extreme self confidence issues.

In my case if I had a greenhouse I could be one of those famous plant youtubers and have a nice background for videos and room to propagate for ebay sales, but instead I am a loser who lives in their parent's basement because my entire life my hobbies were mocked and I was constantly asked if I am a retard with down syndrome. It is great poetic justice because now everyone who is involved in my life going to be on a miserable downhill spiral into poverty and insanity since I am a glorified parasite at this point.

That's why I recommend establishing dominance with a fist fight. It is biologically sound and I am a certified biologist. However due to brain damage from years of trauma I am also certifiably insane so you probably shouldn't listen to me.

p.s. subscribe to youtube.com/HelixPlants
ESKEETIT, gucci gang x7
By Jaker00
Location: 
Posts:  51
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369398
SundewWolf wrote:It is kind of a tragedy for all parties involved when someone's talents and hobbies are stifled.

When I was a child my dad mocked me for growing "flowers" and called me a f@g. In the best case scenario an individual would be able to explain how this hobby can turn financially profitable with good cultivation skills and the necessary greenhouse space, and that supporting the hobby would be a huge benefit and the parent could even take a chunk if the profit, any better yet have satisfaction that their child grew up into someone who knows how to be responsible and has a horticultural background to fall back on if SHTF. Instead in the worst case scenario you get someone with extreme self confidence issues.

In my case if I had a greenhouse I could be one of those famous plant youtubers and have a nice background for videos and room to propagate for ebay sales, but instead I am a loser who lives in their parent's basement because my entire life my hobbies were mocked and I was constantly asked if I am a retard with down syndrome. It is great poetic justice because now everyone who is involved in my life going to be on a miserable downhill spiral into poverty and insanity since I am a glorified parasite at this point.

That's why I recommend establishing dominance with a fist fight. It is biologically sound and I am a certified biologist. However due to brain damage from years of trauma I am also certifiably insane so you probably shouldn't listen to me.

p.s. subscribe to youtube.com/HelixPlants
ESKEETIT, gucci gang x7
They're a biologist so they could be right, but they're most definitely insane, so I don't think you should take their advice.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

By jose
Posts:  69
Joined:  Fri Oct 09, 2020 8:18 pm
#369400
SundewWolf wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 3:51 am It is kind of a tragedy for all parties involved when someone's talents and hobbies are stifled.

When I was a child my dad mocked me for growing "flowers" and called me a f@g. In the best case scenario an individual would be able to explain how this hobby can turn financially profitable with good cultivation skills and the necessary greenhouse space, and that supporting the hobby would be a huge benefit and the parent could even take a chunk if the profit, any better yet have satisfaction that their child grew up into someone who knows how to be responsible and has a horticultural background to fall back on if SHTF. Instead in the worst case scenario you get someone with extreme self confidence issues.

In my case if I had a greenhouse I could be one of those famous plant youtubers and have a nice background for videos and room to propagate for ebay sales, but instead I am a loser who lives in their parent's basement because my entire life my hobbies were mocked and I was constantly asked if I am a retard with down syndrome. It is great poetic justice because now everyone who is involved in my life going to be on a miserable downhill spiral into poverty and insanity since I am a glorified parasite at this point.

That's why I recommend establishing dominance with a fist fight. It is biologically sound and I am a certified biologist. However due to brain damage from years of trauma I am also certifiably insane so you probably shouldn't listen to me.

p.s. subscribe to youtube.com/HelixPlants
ESKEETIT, gucci gang x7
I guess this is rated PG...???
By ChefDean
Location: 
Posts:  2020
Joined:  Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:44 am
#369402
jose wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 3:34 pm
SundewWolf wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 3:51 am It is kind of a tragedy for all parties involved when someone's talents and hobbies are stifled.

When I was a child my dad mocked me for growing "flowers" and called me a f@g. In the best case scenario an individual would be able to explain how this hobby can turn financially profitable with good cultivation skills and the necessary greenhouse space, and that supporting the hobby would be a huge benefit and the parent could even take a chunk if the profit, any better yet have satisfaction that their child grew up into someone who knows how to be responsible and has a horticultural background to fall back on if SHTF. Instead in the worst case scenario you get someone with extreme self confidence issues.

In my case if I had a greenhouse I could be one of those famous plant youtubers and have a nice background for videos and room to propagate for ebay sales, but instead I am a loser who lives in their parent's basement because my entire life my hobbies were mocked and I was constantly asked if I am a retard with down syndrome. It is great poetic justice because now everyone who is involved in my life going to be on a miserable downhill spiral into poverty and insanity since I am a glorified parasite at this point.

That's why I recommend establishing dominance with a fist fight. It is biologically sound and I am a certified biologist. However due to brain damage from years of trauma I am also certifiably insane so you probably shouldn't listen to me.

p.s. subscribe to youtube.com/HelixPlants
ESKEETIT, gucci gang x7
I guess this is rated PG...???
Although dark and unsettling, it is a personal account, perhaps tongue in cheek and satirical, to be taken with a grain of salt. It isn't an attack on another member.
Apollyon liked this
By ChefDean
Location: 
Posts:  2020
Joined:  Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:44 am
#369418
jose wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 6:52 pm Heck guess I’ll tell my personal tale :shock: :?
Go for it. However, maybe start a new thread for it unless it ties into the discussion surrounding the original post or a response to it.
By Apollyon
Location: 
Posts:  652
Joined:  Tue May 05, 2020 2:49 am
#369420
It does give perspective even if does sound bleak. It could very well be that the op home environment isn't a great place. That could be a very real possibility. I offered negotiation based off the idea that maybe it's just the natural "teen" development at work. Sometimes though, there isn't a negotiation. I personally didn't want to probe into their home life so I gave a couple general "solutions." I'm sure there are several of us who came from less than ideal scenarios and had to "go against the grain." Ignorance is worse than anything. I particularly feel bad for the one who had one of those insecure dads who believe anything outside of Coors Light and a pool table is for "fags." You gotta do what makes you happy and you're right. You can make a lot of money and the knowledge could get you somewhere if things go to hell. For instance, a lot of people made serious money throughout covid. While the world was shut down, people were selling plants to people trying to keep their sanity by taking on a plant or two for serious cash. Still, I believe I saw one of your videos on the Scott's Disease EX. Don't let that bring you down. If you want to make videos, make them. Don't throw in before you've given yourself a chance to try. Try selling some plants and get savings started to remove yourself from a toxic situation. Try growing smaller ones of value. If you're in a bad spot like that, you can only improve things. But not without trying.
By Jaker00
Location: 
Posts:  51
Joined:  Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:55 pm
#369421
Apollyon wrote:It does give perspective even if does sound bleak. It could very well be that the op home environment isn't a great place. That could be a very real possibility. I offered negotiation based off the idea that maybe it's just the natural "teen" development at work. Sometimes though, there isn't a negotiation. I personally didn't want to probe into their home life so I gave a couple general "solutions." I'm sure there are several of us who came from less than ideal scenarios and had to "go against the grain." Ignorance is worse than anything. I particularly feel bad for the one who had one of those insecure dads who believe anything outside of Coors Light and a pool table is for "fags." You gotta do what makes you happy and you're right. You can make a lot of money and the knowledge could get you somewhere if things go to hell. For instance, a lot of people made serious money throughout covid. While the world was shut down, people were selling plants to people trying to keep their sanity by taking on a plant or two for serious cash. Still, I believe I saw one of your videos on the Scott's Disease EX. Don't let that bring you down. If you want to make videos, make them. Don't throw in before you've given yourself a chance to try. Try selling some plants and get savings started to remove yourself from a toxic situation. Try growing smaller ones of value. If you're in a bad spot like that, you can only improve things. But not without trying.
Yes, I have a dad that calls me a "sissy" whenever I do something that isn't seen as "manly" it creates a toxic house and ruins relationships, it's extremely hurtful when your own family insults you for not being their vision of the perfect child, it's probably one of the worst things you can do to a child's emotions.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

By SundewWolf
Posts:  2218
Joined:  Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:38 pm
#369542
ChefDean wrote: Although dark and unsettling, it is a personal account, perhaps tongue in cheek and satirical, to be taken with a grain of salt. It isn't an attack on another member.


Not satirical, however I was drunk the night I wrote it. It is no joke that I'm crazy though, so while sober I still write stuff equivocally crazy, I just prevent myself from posting it.

The main idea is all there though, Yes it is there house but stifling someone's potential seems like a no brainer bad idea. I was always forced to waste time on nonsense like playing piano since it was supposed to "make me smart" and tae kwon do so that I don't "turn into a fat american monster", and all my plant growing and artwork was a "big mistake and waste of money". I've been pissed off for years because of it. Imagine if I wanted to ride horses too, not only girly, but also another "huge waste of money". Now I'm dwelling in bitterness for extended periods of time and constantly telling myself "things should not have been this way, if only I had one small greenhouse I could have made profits, I could have saved money and moved out, I could have had nicer recording space, I could have don this or that". I now also have zero respect for my parents as an adult, and consider everything they say complete nonsense. Seems like typical "teenage nonsense" and maybe I shouldn't be like this at 27 but I know the advice they keep trying to give me is the dumbest stuff in the world. Like i said im 27 and cant even set up a greenhouse because I don't have my own yard. I have almost no friends because the constant ridicule from my parents destroyed my self esteem. I didn't do great in school because I hated it, because any time I asked for help with homework I was asked if I have down syndrome and told that it should be easy because al you learn in american school is about McDonalds and football. I could have sat around doing drugs and ended up in this exact same place, at least I would have had more fun. Perhaps someone can reformulate it into an argument this guy's parents could understand and agree with.
By Apollyon
Location: 
Posts:  652
Joined:  Tue May 05, 2020 2:49 am
#369553
Still don't think 27 is too old to begin something. I'm 30 years old and had the same kinds of inner struggles. That's part of the adult experience; reconciling your real and ideal. You may not have a greenhouse though you could make money selling smaller exotic plants. Drosera Gemmae, Pinguiculas, some of your VFT cultivars. I mean if your parents are rough on you I'm sorry(forum won't let me phrase that as I would). You have to just make the best out of a bad situation. Your self respect rebuilds itself as you achieve different successes. Don't throw in the towel before you start the fight. 27 seems old but it really isn't. If you were able to stay off of drugs, then good for you. Seriously. I've seen exactly what drugs will do to people. They've been around my entire life. I'm more at loss for words at how ignorant your folks sound. Self-loathing Americans? Do yourself a solid, get a couple jobs. Buy a couple grow racks and get an apartment. You'll probably find half of your issues disappear immediately and you'll feel a lot better about things. Though I do know where you're at right now and I know the first steps are needlessly difficult. Have to force yourself until you can do it without hating every minute. Idk, I empathize with you to a degree. I didn't have the same exact issues but I found my head in a similar place at different points in my life. I think to some degree, a lot of us have here. The hobby often attracts a certain "type" of people.

As for Josh, I haven't seen him post after this. I'm wondering what happened with that. I'm going to guess that it didn't work out very well though. That's a lot of teenage angst that's going to have to smooth itself out. It's hard listening to people tell you that you're wrong when you're a kid. It's like when our parents told us how wrong we were and didn't believe a word of it. Hopefully they come to an understanding.
By SundewWolf
Posts:  2218
Joined:  Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:38 pm
#369560
jose wrote:Go camping at National and state parks and wilderness areas. It’s cheap and proven to be more effective at mental rehabilitation than anything the modern medical field has come up with


Yes, I agree. What I also found out is that I love horses and I now am blessed to work at a barn in bumblef*ck twice a week. An ongoing theme in my life was to revolt against the modern world and my parents always said I was a loon and fool on some Chris McCandless stuff. But those are the two days alone in the barn and the only to days where I don't drink hard liquor, mainly because I finally feel like I have a valuable duty caring for animals instead of some BS crap job providing meaningless services for shallow nonsense. They screamed at me so much to not work with dirty animals but it's all I ever really wanted.

Thank you to the supplier and the seed manager.

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