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By Bug_cemetery
Posts:  64
Joined:  Tue Mar 08, 2022 11:48 pm
#411082
Dear squirrels,
There are 9,000,000 other plants to dig up. Can you please stay away from my vft?
Go bother the neighbors or something. They have kids- there’s a better chance of dropped snacks on that side of the fence.
Your neighbor,
M

——

Ok squirrels,
I understand that you might not know what iI meant by “vft” so let me clarify:
BC1FCC61-8A77-483C-9681-5BFD1EE2BBD9.jpeg
BC1FCC61-8A77-483C-9681-5BFD1EE2BBD9.jpeg (191.92 KiB) Viewed 1247 times
LEAVE THIS ALONE!
Still trying to be neighborly,
-M

—-

Dear squirrels,
I understand that your brains are the size of acorns so let me be clear: NO DIGGING IN THE BOG PLANTER! NONE! No exploratory scratching, no burying, no checking to see if someone else buried something. There is no food for you here. Digging will not be tolerated.

You have been warned.

-M

—-

Squirrels,
We both know this isn’t working. You’re not respecting the boundaries in this relationship.
Effect immediately you are not welcome in any part on my garden.

It’s time to GTF OUT! And take the damn rabbits with you!

-M
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By ApgarTraps
Posts:  77
Joined:  Mon May 28, 2018 2:22 pm
#411149
Well said.

I struggled for years.

Finally, my most persuasive effort was measured in 0.177 inch increments.

I no longer have a squirrel problem.
Panman, Intheswamp, MikeB and 2 others liked this
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By Intheswamp
Location: 
Posts:  373
Joined:  Wed May 04, 2022 2:28 pm
#411155
That sounds like a tasteful solution, too! :lol:
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By thepitchergrower
Location: 
Posts:  2527
Joined:  Sun Sep 26, 2021 2:22 am
#411160
Rotisserie chicken squirrel
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By MikeB
Location: 
Posts:  1253
Joined:  Sat Apr 25, 2020 4:13 pm
#411175
Listen up, you tree rats! I have released the "lawn tigers" into the backyard. You venture down to the ground now at your own risk.

-MB
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By Lain
Location: 
Posts:  201
Joined:  Tue Mar 09, 2021 5:22 pm
#411180
Panman wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 5:14 pm I need to get a lawn lion. I used to have one and never had a problem with tree rats.
I can send you a lawn lion. He prefers salad over meat though.. and has made friends with mice.
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By MikeB
Location: 
Posts:  1253
Joined:  Sat Apr 25, 2020 4:13 pm
#411181
I had one that was half Maine Coon, half Persian. He was pure hell on any rodents or birds in the backyard.
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By Intheswamp
Location: 
Posts:  373
Joined:  Wed May 04, 2022 2:28 pm
#411197
I had one of those lawn lions a few years ago. Her name was Alfalfa. I saw her back a terrified rat terrier into the corner of the garage one day. It did not end well for the rat terrier. :o :lol:
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By Bug_cemetery
Posts:  64
Joined:  Tue Mar 08, 2022 11:48 pm
#411316
Hey squirrels- WTF!!! I know there were some words exchanged the other day but you didn’t have to get the birds in on this. I’m holding you responsible for the sphagnum they stole.

PS: I did NOT throw rocks AT you. I was gently relocating some decorative pebbles to the edge of the bog which btw you aren’t supposed to be anywhere near.
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By Blackfeather666
Location: 
Posts:  73
Joined:  Thu Mar 31, 2022 12:17 am
#411466
ApgarTraps wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 11:34 am Well said.

I struggled for years.

Finally, my most persuasive effort was measured in 0.177 inch increments.

I no longer have a squirrel problem.
i went to the dark side, pcp is great in my opinion, put a silencer on them and your golden with noise.
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By Shore_Fancy_Nursery
Location: 
Posts:  64
Joined:  Wed May 18, 2022 1:52 am
#412110
Panman wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 5:14 pm I need to get a lawn lion. I used to have one and never had a problem with tree rats.
My issue is with lawn lions. I think I'm going to have to pull my *pew pew* off the wall soon
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