Andy, I'm afraid that you're looking for a unicorn. When I first started out with cps I looked for coarse sand. We even have a large silica mining operation "sorta" close to us...U.S. Silica in Hurtsboro, Alabama. I inquired with them about a coarse grade of sand. A nice lady responded that the pits there produce a finer grade of silica sand than what I was after. I've looked high and low for a coarse "horticultural" sand...no luck so far except for the bags of gold on Amazon.
Pool filter sand gets mixed reviews for cps...some people say that's what they use and that it works fine. Others say that it sinks to the bottom of the pots quickly. When I go to Lowes or Home Depot I usually try to make a loop through the "sand" section and look for torn bags...hoping to find a bag that might be a tad coarser than the norm. No luck so far. But, this year I've decided to go ahead and bag a bag of some type of pool filter sand...a good brand that is graded well for a #20 mesh (far from the #12 mesh that is usually recommended). Another option I'm considering is a creek me and a buddy hunted rocks in a few years back...it is heavy in quartz and a little bit of petrified wood. It seems that the sand there was somewhat coarse, but it's been a few years since I was there. I don't remember the sand sticking to our wet pants as we traversed the creek, at least not like beach sand does. It is often stated not to use river sand due to the impurities and I appreciate that warning. I'm heard of others using river sand with not big issues. I guess the thing would be to do a test with some to see how the plants respond. Anyhow, I'm thinking of grabbing my brain dead buddy (he makes a fair pack-mule<grin>) and taking a road trip to revisit our old hunting ground and check the sand out. Best I could hike out would be a couple of gallons unless I make multiple trips and that's not really an attractive idea to me.
It would be interesting to see, though, if the sand is coarse or fine...it's basically a sand and gravel glacier sludge.
Poultry grit is another option. It is crushed granite and is reported to work well. You do have to be careful and avoid any that has added ingredients. The trend is to add "probiotics" to the grit to help the chickens' guts.<sigh> Just a plain-jane grit is what is needed for our use.
I've mentioned it before, and at the risk of being repetitive I'll mention it again...pumice sand. It is reported to work very well and is a regional product of the west coast.
The last option is to do a 50:50 peat and perlite main mix. Top that off with maybe a 1/2" or so of clean peat moss and then after planting top-dress it with a 1/2" or so of filter sand. I actually did something similar last year with a rectangular planter full of filiformis. I didn't want perlite floating everywhere so I added some well-rinsed "play sand" as a top dressing. This was indoors so it didn't go through heavy rainfalls but I wasn't really gentle when I'd water it either. Everything settles over time and soon the crowns of the plants were well exposed above the sand, perlite dispersal was kept to a minimum. Every now and then I'd get a "divot" where I poured water in too fast and hard and it would exposed the peat/perlite below...I'd rake the sand back over it and call it good.
Anyhow, maybe some of that feedback will help...it's worth *at the least* what you paid for it!!!