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Dear squirrels

Posted: Sun May 15, 2022 5:17 pm
by Bug_cemetery
Dear squirrels,
There are 9,000,000 other plants to dig up. Can you please stay away from my vft?
Go bother the neighbors or something. They have kids- there’s a better chance of dropped snacks on that side of the fence.
Your neighbor,
M

——

Ok squirrels,
I understand that you might not know what iI meant by “vft” so let me clarify:
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BC1FCC61-8A77-483C-9681-5BFD1EE2BBD9.jpeg (191.92 KiB) Viewed 1997 times
LEAVE THIS ALONE!
Still trying to be neighborly,
-M

—-

Dear squirrels,
I understand that your brains are the size of acorns so let me be clear: NO DIGGING IN THE BOG PLANTER! NONE! No exploratory scratching, no burying, no checking to see if someone else buried something. There is no food for you here. Digging will not be tolerated.

You have been warned.

-M

—-

Squirrels,
We both know this isn’t working. You’re not respecting the boundaries in this relationship.
Effect immediately you are not welcome in any part on my garden.

It’s time to GTF OUT! And take the damn rabbits with you!

-M

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Sun May 15, 2022 8:42 pm
by Panman
:lol:

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 11:34 am
by ApgarTraps
Well said.

I struggled for years.

Finally, my most persuasive effort was measured in 0.177 inch increments.

I no longer have a squirrel problem.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 1:54 pm
by Intheswamp
That sounds like a tasteful solution, too! :lol:

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 2:48 pm
by thepitchergrower
Rotisserie chicken squirrel

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 5:10 pm
by MikeB
Listen up, you tree rats! I have released the "lawn tigers" into the backyard. You venture down to the ground now at your own risk.

-MB

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 5:14 pm
by Panman
I need to get a lawn lion. I used to have one and never had a problem with tree rats.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 5:18 pm
by Lain
Panman wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 5:14 pm I need to get a lawn lion. I used to have one and never had a problem with tree rats.
I can send you a lawn lion. He prefers salad over meat though.. and has made friends with mice.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 5:19 pm
by MikeB
I had one that was half Maine Coon, half Persian. He was pure hell on any rodents or birds in the backyard.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 6:37 pm
by Intheswamp
I had one of those lawn lions a few years ago. Her name was Alfalfa. I saw her back a terrified rat terrier into the corner of the garage one day. It did not end well for the rat terrier. :o :lol:

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 10:00 pm
by Bug_cemetery
Hey squirrels- WTF!!! I know there were some words exchanged the other day but you didn’t have to get the birds in on this. I’m holding you responsible for the sphagnum they stole.

PS: I did NOT throw rocks AT you. I was gently relocating some decorative pebbles to the edge of the bog which btw you aren’t supposed to be anywhere near.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Wed May 18, 2022 11:38 pm
by Blackfeather666
ApgarTraps wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 11:34 am Well said.

I struggled for years.

Finally, my most persuasive effort was measured in 0.177 inch increments.

I no longer have a squirrel problem.
i went to the dark side, pcp is great in my opinion, put a silencer on them and your golden with noise.

Re: Dear squirrels

Posted: Wed May 25, 2022 1:45 am
by Shore_Fancy_Nursery
Panman wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 5:14 pm I need to get a lawn lion. I used to have one and never had a problem with tree rats.
My issue is with lawn lions. I think I'm going to have to pull my *pew pew* off the wall soon